Mini Kakini Series III : Awakening the Feminine
So how can I awaken the feminine in me?
As mentioned in other blogs, the ‘how’ can be quite unique to each woman. There is both an individual and a universal aspect that needs to be taken into consideration.
In this Third mini series, I share 3 new tips to help us come closer to our “Feminine Yumminess”.
Awaken more Presence
Presence is experienced in the “Here and Now”. It is the Shiva * aspect of Shakti*. What does that mean?
Have you ever seen that picture of Shiva lying down smiling in bliss while Kali, the fierce Goddess of truth, is raging while literally standing on top of him?
Shiva represents pure presence. He is totally present to Kali in her rage for love and for truth. This does not mean that Women have to be in rage to seek masculine presence (but it can happen that way right?… Not always very effective! 🙂 )
The feminine** is by nature looking for masculine** presence. For a woman to feel wholesome in her balanced Feminine, and experience the highest degree of intimate relationship with herself and others, she needs to awaken her deepest masculine presence as well! The masculine we are talking about here is the still, quiet, unbounded presence represented by Shiva in the Yogic tradition.
If there is a lack of “Shiva” or still, quiet, unbounded presence within, we might get lost in the mind, get lost in excessive pleasure, get lost in neediness, get lost in seeking attention from others – particularly from males, get lost in unworthiness, get lost in addictions and dramas and get lost in all things external that don’t necessarily serve us or have our best interest at heart.
So how to awaken our inner Shiva to support our inner Shakti?
There are many ways.
The most effective and powerful way is to meditate daily and connect with the wisdom of your heart. The more the mind can go beyond the thoughts and connect with the deeper essence of your being, the more presence is awakened. (Please note meditating isn’t about getting rid of thoughts).
Here are other simple easy ways to get closer to presence or to your inner Shiva.
- Truly listening to another being in the heart without trying to fix them
- Being present to a moment of beauty
- Practicing mindfulness training
- Being very present to sensations in the body
- Being more in the body rather than in the head
- Enjoy restoratives using bolsters
- Practicing yoga with awareness
- Practice a form of yoga that focuses more on the inner
- Being in nature and consciously connecting with it
- Practicing Self-Inquiry in the style of Byron Katie
* Shiva represents the masculine aspect of creation associated with cosmic consciousness
* Shakti represents the feminine aspect of creation associated with the primal energy and the manifestation of consciousness
** Feminine and Masculine refer to energies rather than man or woman.
Awaken more Sensuality
What does sensuality mean for a woman who is on a spiritual path? Why awaken more sensuality?
You might have been to ashrams in India or elsewhere. You might have been exposed to spiritual teachings from Masters, Gurus and Great Teachers and you might have heard “you are not the body, you are much more than that; you are a soul” and therefore, no attention needs to be given to the body. And particularly with anything that has to do with sensuality, pleasure and sexuality.
In many spiritual traditions, celibacy and daily pleasures are discouraged in order to lead the spiritual aspirant to realization.
These practices can have great values but are to be understood and practiced in a certain context and by the ‘right’ student at the right time with the right teacher. These practices tend to awaken more masculine qualities which for our purpose, are not, in my view, appropriate.
We are at a time in history where the world, individuals and particularly women are in so much need of reconnecting and reclaiming the sacredness and the power of the Divine Feminine.
Reconnecting with our female bodies as a vehicle for the Divine to express herself and lead us to more awakening is what women are called to do now. As women re-awaken the Sacred Feminine within themselves, men, children and the whole world benefit. Ultimately your awakening to all that is balanced, Feminine and sacred, including sensuality, is likely to lead you HOME and it will enable you to experience more flow in your daily life.
On a more practical level, giving attention to the sensual aspect of your being is going to settle Vata Dosha and Pitta Dosha (which in Ayurveda means balancing the air, space and fire elements which has a settling effect on the mind). When sensuality is experienced as a pathway to our divine soul, it will also enliven beauty, sweetness and open-heartedness.
When sensuality is enlivened, it feels like we are walking on green grass rather than walking on concrete. The earth element in our body/mind is softened and awakened.
So how to awaken more sensuality?
- Take time to massage your body with luscious oils ~ give more focus to your belly, womb, hips and breasts. Bring loving presence to your touch, honour the life force that flows through your body and celebrate the beauty of your feminine shape.
- Bring loving presence to your womb, place your hands in your lower abdomen, let the belly relax and start abdominal breathing. Enjoy at least 10 rounds.
- Allow yourself to receive and share a loving touch with someone, whether it’s a hug, a caress, a pat on the shoulder, or holding someone’s hand.
- Choose fabrics to wear that remind you of what ‘sensuality’ means for you. Flowing fabrics and natural and soft fabric like silk, organic bamboo, organic cotton, soft wool, pashmina, and cashmere often give women a feeling of sensuality.
- Practice walking and moving with more grace and mindfulness. Slow down, smell the roses, breathe deeply and choose to let go of the to-do list!
- Create a sacred space for love making: light a candle, play some uplifting music, burn some incense or essential oils.
Awaken more daily Pleasure and Joy
Why pleasure and joy are so important?
Women often find it easier to experience life and it’s little pleasures when the mind is settled, when we feel free from emotions, when we have time or when we feel open in the heart.
Finding ways to awaken more pleasure and joy in our life is soothing for the nervous system and very beneficial for health. When pleasure is awakened, the oxytocin, also known as the ‘cuddle hormone’ , kicks in.
Here are a few easy suggestions to bring more pleasure and Joy to your life even when life is busy.
- Be clear on what gives you a sense of pleasure (e.g. enjoying a delicious meal, being in nature, making love, painting, spending time with a dear friend, dancing, etc.).
- Make a list of 10 things that bring you a sense of pleasure and joy. Then on a scale from 0 to 10, rate them (0 is ‘it gives me no joy’ ; 10 is ‘it gives me tremendous joy and pleasure’). Then look at how you have rated them and pick the three highest ones. Finally, make a point of doing those 3 that you have picked a lot more regularly in your life.
- One day it will be our last day on the planet…when we don’t know. So why not imagine that it is your last day on the planet; really imagine that and see the magic happen! See how you start being more present to all the little pleasures of life; see how the colours suddenly become more vibrant and see how your senses become so much more receptive! See how your heart connects with others around you.
- When doing a task you dislike, either put yourself in the shoes of someone who would love doing this (maybe someone you know) or dedicate the fruits of your action to someone in need. This little technique will bring a little more ease to your experience and who knows, you may even see the gift in it too!
Our divine nature is calling us to awaken our Shakti!
Blessings to you sister
Thank you for sharing the journey.
Please leave a comment below, I love to hear from you!